pyromaniac

just end it
kill it now
let it die
i want this
i need this
the ending
this freedom
to lay down
forever
watch it burn
here with me
everything
all my hopes
all my dreams
all my fears
all my shame
turned to ash
in these flames
burn it down
burn it down
burn it down
let it all
turn to ash
let it all
blow away
let me sleep
in the room
all ablaze
let the smoke
fill my lungs
let the flames
lick my skin
let it all
burn away
my mistakes
my regrets
my defense
all consumed
nothing more
just a wish
just a prayer
just to fall
just to be
be with You
no more world
no more hate
no more pain
no more lust
just Your arms
just Your heart
just Your eyes
just Your voice
just this wish
to be set
set ablaze

high noon manifesto

please hold me together, God
i just can't seem to hold
the needle and thread
the tape and the stapler
steady enough to do it myself

the pendulum of circumstance
swings with such furious violence
the anger the sorrow
the joy the victory
i am trapped inside its descent

i'm just stuck in this desert
with a map full of holes
the dirt and the rock
the heat and the sun
all actors in this disaster film

where are You in this place?
i can't find You anywhere
Your arms and Your eyes
Your heart and Your voice
once near, are gone from me now

but in You, i will still dare
to hope beyond this prison cage
You find and You free
You seek and You find
i know this is not my end

even here in the heat and pain
i know i will see you again
i will love You and sing
i will run to You and be
forever Your child in Your arms

a letter to the prosecutor

you've always been there, haven't you?
peaking around not-so-distant corners
sneaking behind walls and barriers

you have studied this work of the Maker
critical with plots and dungeon schemes
in allegience with chains and venom

if you're not hiding in shadows and attics
you parade about in light and beauty
but i will name you for what you are

you're the leech of provision and life
the vocal skeleton closet keeper
accuser, abuser, marauder, and rapist

condemning without any legal right
but with trickery and a slithering tongue,
you deceive the free until they are slaves

usurper of truth, the criminal king
the pauper of poison and filth
just a touch from you is madness

out of the movement of your heart
comes every yoke of fear and deceit
that burdens those meant to be free

and your tongue is a leperous child
the mire of every wicked thing
freely flows out from your stomach

with all of your billow and bluster
i can see you as i always have
i am not ignorant of your behavior

i don't know which is more evil
you, and the sum of your villainy,
or to give an ear to what you profess

i needed water, you gave me spit
you gave a rock for bread
and left me alone with scorpions

your enticements have left me vacant
bereft of motion and liberty
with a bed of dirt as my only claim

and i hate this place like i hate myself
and i hate you most of all
just for teaching me how to hate.